Barely Breathing
by delenalust
Summary: Elena decides that she wants to be turned into a vampire. She goes to the one person she knows who will make that happen for her. Will Damon go through with it? What will happen if he does? Delena.
1. Young Blood Spills Tonight

**Barely Breathing**

**1. Young Blood Spills Tonight**

His breath fogged against the window as he stood outside. Even in the night, he could see when his hot breath mixed with the bitter cold of the winter. Damon Salvatore didn't bother to wear a jacket and instead he stood on the dimly lit porch in just his black t-shirt and pants. It was so he could feel the numbness. All he wanted to do right now was feel the same way that she was feeling. Comforting and wishing that all he pain was going to leave her body just at his touch was replaced by the feeling of lost hope. There was no reasoning with God at this point. Nobody inside knew what was going to happen and everyone outside didn't want to believe what was going to occur.

His dark eyes stayed glued to the small window by the door. His stare landed on the girl he hadn't even known for a year. The brightness in her features have disappeared. Elena Gilbert was about to become a different person altogether both in her physical appearance and in her personality. Actually, she wasn't even going to be human at all. He hated himself for taking that life away from her; the life that his brother wanted her to live.

Damon would do anything to keep Elena safe from harm and that was something that he had trouble coping with. He thought if he kept on protecting her that she would eventually see that he truly loved her. The feelings were never reciprocated back, but Damon just didn't know what he would do if anything were to happen to her. He didn't want there to be a chance of losing her, especially on his watch.

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><p><em>Earlier that day...<em>

_He opened the large wooden door to see her standing with her arm across her chest. The sunlight hit her and her dark brown hair shined. Damon swallowed the lump that seemed to form in his throat whenever Elena was around him._

_"Is there something I can help you with? Or should I just stick to my assumption that you're here to see Stefan?" No matter what he tried to do to change her mind about him, Elena always chose Stefan over him. For her, he repressed the anger that continued to boil in his veins._

_Her arms stayed folded. "Actually, I'm here to see you. Before I come in, I need to know if Stefan is here." Her voice was trained to be calm. She knew that how easily Damon could read her and it scared her._

_He shrugged and them leaned against the doorframe. "He might be." He told her coyly._

_"Damon," she said his name with an annoyed sigh because she had no time for the mind games he liked to play with her._

_In response, Damon smirked. "He's out looking for something to eat. With his small animal diet, he shouldn't be back for awhile. Human blood satisfies the hunger more. That's why I like it."_

_"I'm sure that's exactly the reason." Without invitation she brushed passed him._

_At the contact, Damon closed his eyes and took in her intoxicating scent. He didn't know how his brother was able to control himself, even with animal blood in his system, whenever she was around. They were both poor bastards in this situation._

_He followed her over to the couch. Already knowing Elena's answer, he still offered her a drink. His brow rose in instant suspicion when her answer was different. "So you're here to talk to me, you obviously don't want Stefan to know, and you've taken up drinking? What's going on, Elena?" Damon asked as he poured the dark golden liquid into two glasses._

_Walking over to her, Damon swirled the liquor around in the glasses. His armed reached out to hand hers to her, but he kept his grip tight when she reached to take it from him. "I'm going to let go and you're going to tell me whatever you're thinking. Knowing you so well, I'm probably going to have to try and talk you out of it." His fingers slowly let go and he smirked again when she quickly took her arm back._

_Elena moved her air behind her ear and rested the glass on her lap. "Fine, you can't tell Stefan. I mean it, Damon. I know that he's your brother and I'm his girlfriend, but I don't want him to be any part of this. Deal?"_

_He wanted to just agree with her so he could figure out what she was up to. If it was dangerous, which it almost always was, he just couldn't keep to from Stefan. He cared about Elena just as much as he did. The only thing that Stefan had that Damon didn't was her love in return. Elena trusted Damon and he couldn't believe that she still and came to him when she knows that he has broken it so many times before._

_"Sure, I won't tell Stefan. Now, spill." He brought his glass to his lips and downed his drink in one gulp._

_With a shaky hand, Elena copied his actions. She only took a small sip and winced as the bitter taste hit her tongue. The contents slightly numbed her throat as she swallowed it. "I want you to turn me."_

_"No." His answered slipped out as soon as she said the words._

_"You didn't even give me a chance to explain. This is exactly why I came to you and not Stefan. All he would do is try and talk me out of it and I've made up my mind. I'm not going to back down." She rushed out. If she wanted to convince Damon to let her do this._

_He wasn't going to let her do this. What reasons would she have to decided to become a vampire and miss out on a normal life? Elena would never get to experience aging, not that Damon could complain about that. Selfishly, he didn't want to feel the guilt about being the one to take that all way from her just because he couldn't bear not having her in his life. Most of all he never wanted to be the one to kill her._

_"I don't need an explanation. My answer is final." He told her sternly._

_"I know what to expect. I've seen what happens during transition and I now that it's tough to handle in the beginning. I happened to be around when Vicki was going through all of this. Plus, I'll have you to keep me on track."_

_Damon let out a bitter laugh. Then he sat down next to her. His eyes became fixated on her neck to see that the necklace that protected her from compulsion was no longer resting against her delicate skin. Damon forced Elena to look into his eye, hoping to compel her and make her forget ever thinking about the monstrosity of being what he was: a killer._

_Elena turned her head away. When she jerked her body, the glass in her lap crashed to the floor. "I want this Damon and you can give it to me. I'm willing to go through the suffering." Her voice was soft, but determination was still apparent._

_"Why? You say you want all this. I know that Stefan and I make it seem glamorous, well, me more than him, but why do you all of the sudden want to be turned? If it's so you can live happily ever, then you can save the sappiness."_

_She let out a sigh "_

_"Come on, Elena." He couldn't stand when she tested his patience. "You wanted me to hear you out and I'm waiting."_

_"This isn't about Stefan or anyone else other than me. When I first found out about the existence of vampires, Stefan told me that everything I know and believe was going to change and he was right. At first, I was freaked out and couldn't imagine that such things existed. I didn't understand how you could kill innocent people just for a drop of blood and not care. I know so much now, Damon. I just feel like I could be fully apart of it and I know that it seems like a sign that I'm giving up. I don't know how else to explain." With each word she felt like her body was coming more relaxed. Elena hoped that Damon believed her._

_Damon shook his head. Her answer just didn't seem good enough for her to just let him hurt her. "You want to be apart of it? For the longest time, Elena, you hated me for what I did. I get that you feel like you should be a vampire because you're around us, but that's just not going to happen. As much as I hate to bring up Stefan, but how do you think he's going to react when he figures out that you're a vampire, hmm? Where do you think he's going to assume you got this idea from?"_

_"It's all me and I think Stefan will understand."_

_"And I think there are things that you're leaving out. You have a family, Elena, and you have friends. Do you want to lose all of that? I don't think that you do." His voice didn't come across as harsh as he wanted it to._

_In frustration, Elena combed her hands through her long hair. At that point, Elena didn't know how else she was going to be able to convince Damon to let her have this. She was going to have to use a difference approach to get through to him and she knew just the right words. "I know you have this need to protect me."_

_"No, I don't. You just like getting into trouble and it gives me an excuse to kill others." He said in his defense._

_"Well, if I get into any trouble, then I can protect myself. I wouldn't have to rely on you or Stefan." She stopped and dug into her jean pocket. In her fingers, she held up a ring and her necklace._

_Damon rolled his eyes. "You just have all of this figured out, don't you?" He asked her sarcastically._

_"That depends on your answer?"_

_He rested his head on the back of the couch. This was the last conversation that he wanted to have with Elena Gilbert. "You want this? Once I turn you, you can't force me to turn you back. It will be your eternity."_

_"A-are you saying yes?" Excitement bubbled in her voice._

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><p><em>Walking into the kitchen, Damon grabbed a cutting knife. The tip of the blade was sharp and almost unnoticeable. He couldn't believe what he was going to do and he knew that there was no clear reason as to why Elena wanted this. In a way, Damon felt like they would be connected. It was sick, twisted, and cruel to do to Elena. Somehow she wanted this and maybe this would shed light on the fact that she didn't really know what she wanted.<em>

_Back in the main room, Damon took another look at the girl he had fallen so in love with. She sat on the couch with her hands interlocked. There was an amount of pressure being put on her hands and her knuckles turned white. The girl was scared shitless. It was to be expected since she knew that in a matter of seconds Damon was going to break her neck and have her drink his blood. It wasn't going to be Stefan's blood. it was purely his._

_"You can still back out, you know." He spoke, making his presence known._

_Elena looked up to see him walking closer to him. "No, I want this, Damon. Would you just do it already?"_

_"Now, now, where's the joy? You're going to be a vampire!" His eyes widen as he tried to joke around with her one last time. He hadn't heard Elena laugh in over 24 hours and he wanted to hear it one last time before she no longer felt the emotion of happiness._

_She closed her eyes, trying to choke her tears._

_Damon walked over and kneeled in front of her. He rested the hand, that wasn't holding the knife, on her arm to try and comfort her. He wanted her to open her yes so he could figure out how she was really feeling. So far, he had witnessed her strong front and her strength actually worried him._

_Elena took a few deep breaths in and out. She knew what she was getting into. Her night was spent going over her decision until she convinced herself that she wanted this._

_"Please, Damon."_

_When Damon turned Vicki, he looked right into her eyes and snapped her neck. This was going to be much harder because he didn't think he could look Elena in the eye and he didn't want to hear her bones snapping._

_Elena stood up and face Damon, preparing herself. She almost died once and it's said that drowning was a peaceful way of going, but before peace was brought, there was struggle. There wasn't going to be any struggling, until she opened her eyes and started gasping, even though she was never going to find peace in this._

_Damon set the knife on the ground. Both of his hands cupped Elena's cheeks. His thumbs traced her soft skin. "Before I do this, there's just something I need to do. When you come back you're emotions are going to be heightened and hard to process. I need to do this now, Elena, and I want you to be just you."_

_Elena didn't say anything or move. All she did was stare back at him._

_Damon leaned closer and covered his lips over hers. The kiss wasn't rough or urgent. He took his time and it was soft. Damon wasn't surprised when she didn't give in. The poor girl was afraid and bounded to his brother. When he pulled away, he placed one last kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Elena."_

_With his confession, her neck made the cracking sound that Damon wished he could forget. He caught the dead limp body of his love and slowly brought her to the floor. Reaching over to grab the knife, Damon sliced his wrist. The red liquid pooled at the sight of the cut. With the hand that rested behind her head, Damon brought her lips to meet his skin. His blood covered her mouth. His face became stone when he felt her suckling his wound._

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><p>The simplest thing, next to breathing, seemed like a difficult task to him. All Damon did was stand there. He wanted to open the door and see the rebirth of Elena, but he knew the agony that was going to rage through her body.<p>

"What are you doing?"

Damon blinked to see that his brother had return from his hunting trip. There was a cold stern look on his features. Since Stefan was able to keep himself under control, he didn't trust Damon's way of life. He had tried to talk Damon into trying to live by his rules, but Damon had no interest in what Stefan was selling to him. They weren't human and as hard as Stefan tried to be, he was still so far away from that reality.

Without having a chance to answer, Stefan pushed Damon aside and looked into the window. At the sight of Elena's body on the floor, he became enraged. Swiftly he turned to Damon and pinned him against the door. "What did you do to her?"

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><p><strong>This is my first Delena fic. Please let me know if you think I should continue it or not. Any kind of feedback is appreciated!<strong>


	2. Hourglass

**2. Hourglass **

Stefan's fangs protruded from his gum as his anger turned into blind rage. "Tell me right now Damon or I'll-" Before Stefan could finish his sentence Damon had already switched places with him. Stefan's back hit the door hard and he could see the anger matched in his brother's dark eyes. His skin became grey.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, Stefan." Damon's fangs retracted as he tried to talk to his brother calmly. "Now, if let you go and you try to do something stupid, I'm going to have to do something I don't want to do to you." _Or Elena. _

The anger and betrayal still ripped through Stefan. He knew that he couldn't take his own brother down due to his diet of only drinking animal's blood. Even though it made him weaker, Stefan was content that it didn't make him a monster.

"I don't believe you." He seethed. "What did you do to Elena!"

This was the type situation Damon hated being stuck in the middle of. He was either loyal to his brother or loyal to Elena. The bond of brotherhood had lasted over 100 years but, his draw to Elena also held so much strength. Stefan always stood by him through all his reckless acts and Elena had forgiven him for his countless mistakes. The only solution that could end his inner feud was when Elena woke up. Stefan would figure out what he had done to her anyway. This all could have been avoided if Damon had just compelled Elena to forget her cruel idea of becoming one of them.

Just as Damon was about to release Stefan from his tight hold, he could hear footsteps headed towards the door. It wouldn't be long before the consequences of his and Elena's decision started to take over.

The door opened and Damon let Stefan go so he could make sure that Damon didn't hurt her. Damon watched as Stefan immediately stepped forward into the house, cupped her cheeks and studied her with full concern. It was just moments ago when Damon was doing the exact same thing. He had told her what he had been keeping back for so long. When he finally had the chance to tell her that he was so in love with her and kissed her, Damon wished that he hadn't taken part in the end of the true Elena. He loved her in her purest form and he had tainted it, but his love still remained.

"I'm fine, Stefan." Elena lied.

His hands moved through her thick brunette hair. "Really, then how come I saw you lying on the floor?" He began to smooth her hair, "did Damon hurt you?"

Elena shook her head. "No, Damon didn't do anything. I'm just not feeling well and I passed out."

Stefan squinted as he looked into her rich brown eyes. "I don't buy that for a second. Something happened. Tell me the truth, Elena."

Letting out a sigh Damon walked inside. He couldn't take Stefan's accusations because he was right. "As much as I would love to see where this lover's spat goes, Elena, you might as well tell him because he's just going to figure it out very soon."

Elena swallowed. She knew as soon as the word 'vampire' left her lips, Stefan was going to go on a rampage and put all his anger and blame onto Damon. It wasn't fair to Damon that he always was the number one suspect when anything happened. Like always, Damon tried to talk her out of it. Both of them were such headstrong individuals that neither could backdown from their opinions. He had given in and she felt relieved that she didn't have to keep trying to get him to see her side. Now, there was Stefan, the one who was going to be hurt the most. How could she lie to the one that she loved?

When she had woken up, she couldn't help but gasp for air. It was just her natural instinct. A strong headache soon followed and she felt herself becoming weaker with each minute. Elena needed blood and all of this arguing was just delaying her from what she was going to complete her transformation to a vampire.

Her legs felt stiff and all she wanted was to lie down. The craving for blood as getting to her system as a scent that was new to her was taking control of her thinking.

"Stefan," her voice was soft as she took his hands into hers. Her fingers traveled over his ring that protected him from the sun. Soon, she would be wearing the one that she had selfishly took from her brother, Jeremy. She had given her necklace and ring to Damon to hold onto until she really needed them. Elena wanted her turning to occur during the night so, the sun wouldn't burn her skin. "I asked Damon to turn me and he did."

Stefan dropped her hands at the confession."Elena, go upstairs and wait for me in my room." He shook his head shameful as he watched her walk up the wooden staircase. Stefan's eyes travels back over to Damon. "You are no longer my brother after this." His voice slithered in an icy tone.

"Stefan, I get that you're upset, but-"

"No, I don't need to hear your excuses. You always do this, Damon. Whenever Elena wants something from you, you do it. It doesn't go through you're head that it's wrong. You turned my girlfriend into a vampire.. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah, I was kind of there, Stefan." Damon hissed sarcastically.

"Remember that conversation we had about Elena not being Katherine? I can't help but to think this was one of your sick attempts to make Elena more into Katherine." He growled.

Damon was taken back at the reasoning that Stefan had come up with. Yes, Damon had an unhealthy obsession with trying to find Katherine, but he never tried to replace her by using Elena. He knew very well that Elena was Katherine's doppleganger. He loved Elena too much to make her into anybody else.

Stefan let out a frustrated sigh and walked over to the stairs so he could deal with his new vampire girlfriend. There had to be a reason why she wanted this. Stefan remembered when Elena called out Damon for being selfish for killing without caring about the innocence of his victims. Now, she came to him of all people and asked him to turn her. Something wasn't right.

"She only has so much time to feed before she dies, Stefan." Damon shouted after him.

Time was something he wished Elena had the time to treasure while she was a human. Maybe that would have altered his choice somehow. If Stefan didn't let her try and experience her new role, they would both lose the girl that they loved forever. That wasn't something he was willing to lose.

He felt like ripping his hair out as he began to worry that Elena wasn't going to get any human blood in her system. Just like in the beginning of this, he was going to be the one that was there for her.

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><p>She felt like a caged animal. Elena couldn't seem to stay still as her senses seemed to be arguing with each other. Her mind was all over the place as she knew that she had to satisfy her hunger for blood. It was somewhere in the house, she could smell the distinct odor.<p>

"Elena, how are you feeling?"

She turned to see Stefan standing in the doorway.

"Hungry." She stopped rummaging around and moved her hair out of her face. She crossed her arms across her chest as she fought to stand still. "I need to drink blood, Stefan. Where is it?" Her voice came out raspy because her throat was dry.

When she didn't get an instant answer, she felt her anger rise rapidly. Elena lunged forward. "Where is it? I know that it's around here."

"Elena, you need to calm down." His hands grabbed her arms.

"No, I need blood. I'll die without it. Is that what you want?"

Stefan shook his head vigorously. He loathed Damon for this. "No, I want to know what made you decided that you wanted to be a vampire and why you didn't think of coming to me about this. You know how much I wanted you to stay just the way you," he paused, "were."

"You would try and talk me out of it."

"That's right. This is one of the most dangerous and stupidest things you could have done. I see why you wanted Damon's help with that." He added bitterly.

"Why do you alway talk down about Damon? Believe it or not the has a good side. I've seen it." Elena argued. Se felt herself become agitated. "Can we just talk about this later?"

Stefan knew that if she didn't feed fast enough after waking from her dead state that she would become weak and eventually die, which what humans were supposed to do and not come back from. Right now, he didn't want to ever leaver her alone with Damon.

"You can't keep Elena hostage up here. She needs to feed." Damon stated, again, as he walked into the room. He appeared concerned for her, too.

"Leave, Damon. You've caused enough damage already." Stefan said, without facing or acknowledging Damon.

He knew that his brother was beyond mad, but he wasn't going to wait around for him to make a decision for Elena. "Screw this," walking over to Elena, Damon sunken his teeth into his own wrist. It wasn't human blood, but it was something to keep Elena alive for just awhile longer until some was supplied for her.

Stefan stepped in between Damon and Elena."If she's going to drink anyone's blood. It's mine." Stefan told him affirmitely.

"Yeah, I'm sure rabbit blood will definitely keep a vampire in tradition under control. I'm strong that you. Move out of my way, time's ticking, brother."

Elena saw the dark red liquid seep out of Damon's bite. She inhaled the smell that taunted her. As Elena closed her eyes to attempt to remain controlled, she felt a piercing pain in her gums. It caused her to let out a scream. Once her fangs were fully bared, she lung to Damon's offered arm and began to drink from him. The taste was strong and coppery. Warmth filled her mouth as she continued to swallow his blood. The taste would be unsatifying if she were human, but now she found it addicting. There was no turning back now.

With knowledge about newborn vampires, Damon knew that Elena was going to try and drain his entire body out of blood. One drop was all it took to lose complete control. When hunger raced through their veins, that was it.

"See? My blood will only keep her strong for so long. We can use your animal blood on her some other time." Damon mused.

He let out a grunt as he felt Elena sink her sharp teeth deeper into where he broke his skin. With his free hand, he smoother out her hair, "If you got your head out of you as for a second, you would know that she asked for this."

"I don't believe you." Stefan watched horrified as his innocent Elena fed off of his own brother's blood. Is this what Damon was trying to do? Was he trying to get Elena all to himself? "She would never want this." Without another word, Stefan left.

Damon put his focus back on Elena. "Okay, that's enough." He removed his hand from her hair and placed it on her throat. Damon could feel the movement as she swallowed his blood. He hated what he had to do to her next. With two fingers, he pinched her throat.

Elena began to gag as the blood pooled into her mouth. Damon's clamp on her throat caused her to choke and she had no choice but to spit out the blood that was in her mouth. It hit the flow with one splash. She continued to cough as she tried to steady herself.

"What was that for?"

"You think that I was going to let you drink me dry. Wrong." Damon moved his stiff arm and watched as his skin healed. here was no mark left where Elena's fangs have been. Then he looked up to her. She was unrecognizable with blood covered over her mouth and chin. It also ran down her neck. His blood was also in her hair, making it look messier. Elena Gilbert was officially gone and she was replaced by a frenzy bloodsucking creature.

"How do you feel?"

"I still have a headache and I want some more blood. How am I supposed to get any if I'm stuck in here?" Her tongue wet her lips as she tasted the blood began to crust. The metallic taste enriched her mouth even with the absence.

"You're not going to like this but, you need to be practically baby say until you learn to control yourself. It's not just your hunger that you have to worry about. You're strength, you're anger, you're control around people, especially your friends and family, that all need to be accounted for." Damon explained to her.

Elena nodded. She remembered what had happened to Vicki Donovan and she didn't want to be unable to control herself and lose all responsible functions of her behavior, especially in the public eye. "I can't go home like this. Hell, I can't even get into my house without being invited inside. I don't want Jenna or Jeremy to see me like this. They'll notice that something's really strange and different." With her sleeve, she dabbed at the sides of her mouth.

"You should just stay here for the night, but you have to face home sooner or later. Stefan and I can teach you how to keep yourself grounded. It's not going to be easy, Elena."

Elena nodded. "Thank you, Damon. I know that you weren't-"

Damon put his hand up to stop her from talking. "Don't say anything or thank me yet, we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. I'll be downstairs making sure that you don't try and escape to go looking to feed." Damon turned and before turning to leave, he took one last look at Elena. "I hope this is what you truly wanted." He didn't wait for her to answer because he didn't want to hear one.

Elena watched as the second Salvatore brother left her alone. She couldn't believe the night that she had. There were so many feelings and questions swirling around in her head. She was worried about Stefan and if he was ever going to warm up to the fact that she was now a vampire. Would he be able to forgive Damon for turning her? _Damon_. After Stefan had left, Elena thought that Damon would mention the kiss and tell her not to tell Stefan about it. Neither of them probably wanted to add more fuel to the flame that raged inside of Stefan. One thing that Elena never doubted was Damon's feelings towards her. His need to protect her was apparent in his eyes.

She had betrayed both of them. Stefan, by not telling him that she wanted to be turned and not trusting him. Damon, by telling him, _"It will always be Stefan."_

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><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter. <strong>


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